Are Any Girls Better Than No Girls?

Sadly, Bear seems to be growing out of lovely, innocent, inclusive Cbeebies. He now wants Netflix, although after last week’s nightmare he is not allowed to watch Batman Lego anymore. Unfortunately, he knows there is more than one movie in the Lego cannon (through a collective lack of imagination we seem to have agreed that he must now only watch Lego movies). A week or so ago I made the mistake of letting him watch one of the Lego Friends movies and by Friday night he was hooked.


Lego Friends is a series of stories about five girl friends of uncertain age (they can drive and have Barbie doll figures, but play in treehouses). I may well be alienating myself from the sisterhood here, but the only word for them is vile. They squeal a lot, worship pink, make a fuss when they stand in horse poo and say things like ‘what girl doesn’t like bubbles?’ to their dogs. They are horribly knowing and flirt with fully grown men to get what they want. They are your worst teenage nightmare times a hundred. AND they have nothing to do with proper Lego AT ALL. Basically, if Bear was a girl he wouldn’t be allowed within a mile of them. But he’s a boy. And he loves them. And herein lies the quandary. So far all Bear has wanted to watch is boys; Bob the Builder, Fireman Sam, Thomas the Tank Engine, Tractor Ted (how I long for the Tractor Ted days, when everything was so simple). So is it good that he now wants to watch girls; that girls can be just as cool as boys?

By Friday night I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything, except for the fact that I was devoting more time, energy and mental space than was proper to a bunch of cartoon characters. Thankfully Andrew turned up. He was on the quad bike. Raff and I went outside, Bear was so caught up with his girlfriends he didn’t even notice. Raff and I got on the quad bike. Then Andrew banged on the window at Bear, who saw what we were doing and came racing out the house to join us. And just like that Andrea, Mia, Olivia, Stephanie and Emma were cast aside.

HA!  Quad bikes forever, girls are stupid*.

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