OMG Durex is launching an aubergine condom! Except, actually, it’s not. And meanwhile, as everybody’s losing it over aubergine condoms, there seems to be a lot less opposition to the £1.9million ‘refugee’ wall the UK government’s planning to build in Calais. There’s a joke to be made about pricks here, somewhere.
Bearded lady and body positivity campaigner Haarnam Kaur, 24, is celebrating her inclusion in the Guinness Book of Records for being the youngest woman in the world to have a full length beard. Which makes me feel a teensy bit self-involved for wearing a hat all week to cover up my roots.
A playboy model who posted a photo on social media of a naked pensioner with the caption ‘If I can’t unsee this then you can’t either,’ might be sent to prison and hit with a $1million lawsuit. Sadly the pensioner was not Hugh Hefner.
The UK has the lowest breastfeeding rate in the world. A so-called expert says this is because of clashes between breastfeeding and sleep routines. Expert schexpert; we all know the main reason women don’t breastfeed is because Claridges won’t let you in…
So there’s this guy, inspired by The Archers domestic abuse storyline, who’s set up a JustGiving page to help victims. And he’s raised, like, £135,000. While I’m writing about aubergine flavoured condoms that don’t actually exist. And they say women can’t prioritise huh?