Halloween Top 5

Andrew just said to me, quite matter of factly, ‘I have to defrost a pig’s lung tomorrow’. You don’t get more Halloween than that, do you? Here are some other things that have happened recently that have been quite Halloweenish.

1. Our Pumpkin Carving

Aren’t they fab?


We got together with some friends and family and ta da, look what we made! When I say ‘we’ I mean ‘they’. I had nothing to do with any actual carving; my job was stalking around the tables, barking at people to eat more soup. While outside Andrew dealt with the knives and the cutting up of the pumpkin (the pigs did very well out of it), inside I buttered bread and forced spiced cider on people like a 1950’s housewife on speed. So not very feminist. But who cares? The best bit was watching the kids, about 20 of them, completely ignoring the pumpkins and chasing each other in the semi-darkness. The adults all enjoyed the pumpkins though. Whoever says Halloween is for kids is a big fat liar.

2. Dead Moles and Nail Varnish

The other morning Bear called me from the kitchen doorway, I turned around to look and there he was, grinning, proudly carrying a dead mole in the trap he helped his dad lay the day before. Raff came along a few seconds later, dressed in his best mole-catching gear too. You can’t see from the photo but Bear’s got pink sparkly nail varnish on. I think in such careful juxtapositioning of the macabre with the glamourous, he has nailed this whole Halloween outfit thing without even trying. We’ve taken the nail varnish off for school, and now he keeps asking if he can put it back on next weekend. Already this is a weekend thing. I can’t help thinking about where this might lead. Or of middle-aged accountants in the suburbs.

3. A Magic Hour


We got an extra hour! We got out the house, to a National Trust park, with so much time to spare we made sandwiches and an actual flask! Flasks and sandwiches are two of the things that make Andrew happiest. And he made the tea and sandwiches, so pretty feminist actually. Especially when Bear copied and made me his first ever sandwich; grated carrot on bread. His first go was on mouldy bred too, which makes this both feminist and Halloweenish. Nobody swore or got cross or flounced or sweated or completely-lost-it-about- how-late-it-is-and-the-whole-day-being-nearly-over-so-there’s-no-bloody-point-in-even-leaving-the-house. Why the hell has no one thought of adding an extra hour every day? Surely the divorce/stress/dangerous driving rate would plummet. It would also be very good news for the flask industry.

4. Witchy Birthdays


It is my sister’s birthday tomorrow. It falls on Halloween EVERY year! How fab is that? There is something undeniably cool about having a witch for a little sister. Growing up we had a lot of Halloween themed birthday parties in our house. We loved them back then, although now, filling a baby bath full of water and apples and basically inviting small children to spit in it, grosses me out. Happy birthday Lou!

5. Weight Loss Wicca

Hmmm, maybe not that feminist after all?

This morning when I put in something like ‘how do I use wix for ecommerce’, the Google predictor thing brought up ‘how to lose weight using wicca’ instead. I looked, there are actual spells you can do to lose weight! (I had an extra hour, remember). I actually love the idea of wicca, and of being more in sync with nature. I keep meaning to get around to reading a book about it or something. Witches, with their powers and insubordination are pretty darned feminist. But also, if anyone knows if wix is any good for ecommerce, please let me know.


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